chapter iii: speak now

Finding your place in a field that you're passionate about is difficult.  People pretend like there are rules, but there aren't. There is no formula to follow. You have to be genuine. You have to be open. You have to be willing to work and put yourself out there.  You have to be constantly striving for better--not just best.  So I was doing those things (well mostly--openness does not come easily for me); I was being genuine, working, and striving for better. And somehow I made a place for myself in my small community. between all the shows and events people started recognizing my style. it was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

something blue

“Don’t you just love those long rainy afternoons in New Orleans when an hour isn’t just an hour - but a little piece of eternity dropped into your hands - and who knows what to do with it?”

— Tennessee Williams

don’t look back

“How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.”

— Bram Stoker, Dracula

I was creating these canvases that were intriguing and selling but somehow I was still separated from the creative process.  I was recreating existing designsusing my mixed medium methods. I wanted to be inspired by these things, not just reimagining them.

chapter ii: out of the woods

 I recognized myself as an artist and things started shifting.  I don't always identify a change in myself until after that moment has already passed by.  When I look back throughout my journey I can pinpoint places and times that are markedly different. That's when I tell myself, "Look what you did there--that was when things changed for you."  So looking back I realize that it was these canvases that began to shape the shift in my art. Becoming more refined, yet still experimenting with new materials. 

Dragonfly in Amber

“In that moment when time stops, it is as though you know you could undertake any venture, complete it and come back to yourself, to find the world unchanged, and everything just as you left it a moment before. And it’s as though knowing that everything is possible, suddenly nothing is necessary.”

— Diana Gabaldon, Outlander

Snowfall

“But very quickly they all became grave again: for, as you know, there is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes.
”

— C.S. Lewis, Chronicles of Narnia

I found my passion for creating different uses for a variety of materials throughout this chapter.   I realized that large canvases were not necessarily where I should begin my journey. The saying is 'start small' right? I was still perfecting my techniques and materials usage.  So I started constructing smaller canvases that had a more focused meaning.  I began limiting my materials per canvas so that each would not overwhelm the other.  The result was a more refined design with a better quality of construction.

chapter i: begin again

I believe, much like in our favorite novels, there are chapters to life.  Each chapter represents a different stage of your life or career or relationship or any number of milestones or setbacks that you may encounter throughout your life. While I can attribute many things to what has led me here--my career as an artist begins here. These are the stories I told, these are the canvases that came to life out of a desperation to reach for the creativity that I was hiding from in my everyday life.

Burdens

“Her burdens were her own and burdens were for shoulders strong enough to bear them. She thought without surprise, looking down from her height, that her shoulders were strong enough to bear anything now, having borne the worst that could ever happen to her. ”

— Margarette Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

Dreams

“We lead strange lives, chasing our dreams around from place to place.”

— Erin Morgenstern, Night Circus

I found inspiration in the worlds created by others.  The vividness of the words on a page churned my imagination and allowed me to explore that world through textures. The actual book pages became the background, while the imagery the stories generated became my passion.  I had partaken in so many fictional worlds that I now wanted to see them all come to life. Each piece I crafted only drove my desire to create more.  This is the chapter of my life that I will always look back on and think, "This is where it started."

Lost

“It seems very pretty, she said when she had finished it, “but it’s rather hard to understand!” (You see she didn’t like to confess, even to herself, that she couldn’t make it out at all.) “Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas-only I don’t know exactly what they are!”

— Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass